Ah, distinctly I remember, it was in the bleak December,
And like a quickly dying ember, my 401K hit the floor.
Eagerly I wished the morrow; vainly I had sought to borrow
From Fox News surcease of sorrow, sorrow for my dwindling 4,
For my once profitable retirement fund that began with number 4,
Nameless here forevermore.
Deep into that darkness peering, long I stood there wondering, hearing,
My old age plans disappearing, like rushing water being poured
On Wall Street I could not sleep, the descent of stocks oh so steep,
My sanity I strove to keep, trying to smile like days of yore
‘’Tis just some dip,’ I muttered, ‘but the rebound will come for sure –
Soon I’ll be on Florida’s shore.’
Presently my soul grew stronger, hesitating then no longer,
No more would I be wronger, existing in a dreamlike score;
Still my spirit was unbroken, many words still left unspoken,
Words that would surely token, token a life yet in store;
‘Beloved,’ said I, ‘stuff our money in the mattress sure,
Our retirement fund is nevermore.’